Like Marcus Aurelius the emperor dreamed of being a philosopher but all he had was his lonely notebooks, so you the common idiot, isolated middle class intellectual dreamed of being a professional artist, all you have are these lonely notebooks, yet count your blessings. When you were very young, an adolescent, you dreamed of being a family man, and after many years of wandering as an erstwhile intellectual over three continents with pretensions of being an anti-conformist artist, you now have the chance to be a real family man. And, who knows, may after twenty years of hard work being a family man, you may yet have a second chance at being a true artist, perhaps gaining even deeper insight into what a true artist is, and paint a real picture of it. Either way, do not let your soul become too caught up in these pursuits, but rather fix yourself on what is really important, which is living in harmony with God’s will.